dear new camera.

you are the bee's knees. (insert happy sigh)

i really like you.
a lot.

oh the places we will go.
and the people we will annoy.

good times, my friend. good times.

xo,
sanford

ps. thank you, mister!!!
you do realize what you have done, right? :)
xo

dear schedules.

apparently, you are okay as long as not fabricated by a grown-up.

xo,

sanford

dear phone, wi-fi, internet & computer.

you have become my addiction. plain and simple.

without you, i am lost.

you have succeeded in helping me completely lose all normal functions such as thinking for myself, thinking about others and accomplishing any goals (unless reading about accomplishing goals was a goal).

the time has come to wean myself back to humanity and doing things like having actual conversations with people, not know or care that j.lo's getting divorced, not look at things that i'd love to do to my imaginary house one day, and not have my kids ask me if i'm looking at facebook.

ugh. low point.

for i shall miss you.

but, you see, in approximately sixteen days i will be heading here

with these people.

we will:

trek across many a stinky states; pee numerous times; fight over who-sits-where and why-can't-you-stop-kicking-my-chair?!; hear "i'm hungry!" seventeen hundred times along with 'when are we going to be there?''; eat insane amounts of circus peanuts; find our 'vacation song'; try and fail (as usual) to get pictures of the welcome to the state of  ___  signs... all to get to our destination.

and i bet we won't miss our usual two buck pit-stop here.

shortly upon arrival, the unpacking begins...

his

hers

(as long as the drawer shuts, right?)

see.

i haven't needed you yet to do any of those things.

i am determined to free myself from the super glue that seems to have you eternally hooked to my hand and the mush you are turning my brain into.

i need you to check the time and use for an alarm clock. umm, no. that's the lovely thing about my friend, the beach. all i need is time to spend with my family. not to be anywhere else or with anyone else or to do anything else.

i need you to take the thousand billion pictures i take wherever and whenever i am anywhere. well, what do you know, i own this thing called a camera. huh.

i need to text just one more little thing...i'll just stop there. b/c i text like i talk and i ramble....about nothing to anyone who will listen (sorry, you all know who you are). thank you to the seashells and the jellies who will i hunt (and talk to) incessantly to fill this need..."i'm just gonna find one more."

i need to waste more energy on reading up on the world news around us. stupid politicians, violence, idiot celebrities (although i totally spy on them), a bankrupt country, it's going to be freaking hot today and for then next month...DEPRESSING.

i'm pretty sure i will be able to enjoy the news that:

a) my kids are having fun, probably doing this

2) mister will be able to let go and finally be able to some of this

c) that we will be so blessed to be in the presence of simple nature and beauty and stillness like this

so, my dear friends, connected-electronics, i hope you will enjoy your beak as much as i will be enjoying mine.

when we meet again, let's dine over diet coke water and zingers yogurt (okay, maybe i'll just stick with ridding one addiction at a time) to discuss the new and improved terms of our relationship.

until then...

xo,
sanford 

ps.
i totally blame you for this completely obnoxious writer's block i've had!