dear candid camera.

did you have to pay your crew overtime to stake out my house this past week? i know you were there. there the other day for when the national championship football game went from a really fun family rivalry...

to an out-of-control sibling brawl...

and there yesterday when i spent a good hour and a half or so chasing a soap-filled monster dog around the backyard like a psycho.

 

i looked so sweet in my black wellies and hundred year old jammie pants and knubbly-not-so-matching-fuschia shirt. my hair was even finer all bobby-pinned back except for the stub of a ponytail i insist on wearing. my look was even complimented by the white-trash yelling i was doing as i sped around the pool after this...

only to land smack dab in his poop.
if you'll noticed the white, round speck in the above picture, it is the seashell i so cleverly pretended was food to lure the bubbled houdini back to my lair.
GOTCHA! he totally fell for it and i had him by the collar until he skinnied his wet neck enough to slip out of it and run off to roll around in the leaves...classic candid camera.
when do the episodes air?

-sanford